sorry to anyone who reads my web-log, but i'm on vaccation from the computer! i'm out having a real life (yeah...like working and doing nothing, and....j/k)....anyways if you want to come visit me at my almost-on-the-beach house, you'll have to write me a letter! LOL and pretend that it is like the "old days" or something because i don't have a phone or internet (yet)!!!....and if you don't have my address...get it from someone else!!! okay, some final news: i dyed my hair an orange-ish red color with red streaks, and i have a song/poem recorded on a CD....but it still needs to be edited...(thanks to josh who keeps changing the guitar in it!!!! LOL) anyways...don't really bother checking my webpage for updates until about september 23ed or so.... bye!! have a fun summer everyone!!
i never thought that i would ever in my life be up this late studying....i never could understand why college students went to bed so late, and studied so late....NOW i get it! one of the main reasons why we stay up is that we don't have to wake up until times like 10am and even 1pm!!! and we are on a continuoius party schedule, even when there are no parties to go to.... (p.s...i can't spell right now, and i give up!!)
an ad on my computer says "Disaster Victums need your help...donate blood....Red Cross" WWTF??!! what disaster victums?...i'm sorry but 9-11 is over...and did any one notice that 1000's and 1000's of people gave blood back then, and not even very many people were hurt? everyone was either alive and safe or dead....WTF did they do with all that blood???? it goes bad after awhile....quickly i think...did they sell it to vampires and psychos or somethin'? why do they keep wanting SO MUCH blood??? so they can sell it back to US...??? Also, Bush "the education president"...is trying to ...or maybe he already did?....pass a bill or a thingee that will spend LESS money on education and on financial aid, "this means YOU!!"....UC tuition will go UP ,UP, UP, and financial aid will be harder to get. Thanks so much to all who voted for bush....I voted for no one! (i don't think i was old enough to vote...LOL, but i hated BOTH canidates...!!) Anthoer half way political thing: did anyone notice that pay phones are now 50 cents for a LOCAL call?! I'm pretty sure that the bush administration is to blame for that.... and it's so sad cuz it REALLY affects the budgets of poor people who do not have phones in their houses or cell phones, they still have bussiness and family calls that they need to make too!...and another sad thing, NO one that actually votes is aware of this, they are all rich or at least have cell phones, and have no clue about the HIGH price of payphones...so no one will ever be able to stand up fo the poor people who don't vote.....
....ok, so i felt like i was getting old...because lately i've been going to the beach WITHOUT going in the water, but then i realized: I'm not. la jolla and san diego just have the ugliest, most sucky beaches ever, with NO waves at all! and seaweed and clams all around and under your feet!! ANd this is supposed to be the number one school for surfing...riiiiight..."yeah dude, like oh my god, this is so totally awsome!! it's like a 13 INCH wave!! that is SO big!" seriously i heard some one talking about how great and big the waves were here, and i asked, how big they were, cuz i only see like 2inch waves, and they said "yeah it gets so big, like 2-4 feet, and sometimes 4-6!!" i was like sure....big....ok? orange county beaches have REAL waves...like 13 feet and stuff...i'm sure that UCirvine is REALLY the best school for surfing, it's that they don't want to attract any white people to their school! LOL! they only want asians to become doctors!! more asians need to surf!! and reclaim orange county as the best place for surfing or bodyboarding!!! xoxo
okay, so if it's bad, and it can happen to someone, i'm pretty sure that it had ALREADY happened to me!! The only things that have NOT happened to me are; my house has never burned down, (but the one nextdoor did!!), i have not been robbed, (but LOTS of things have been stolen from me, by many people!!), and i have not been murdered....yet. with my luck that is probably how i shall die! so if it's not on this list, and something bad happens to you, you can email me and i'll try to help you with it, cuz i'm almost sure that whatever it is, i've been through it!! (oh, and i have also not been in an airplane or train crash.) LOL
YAY!! It's the end of the year! weeee! only 3 more years of college to go! If you want to party in TJ on friday (14th) with me and some random friends...e-mail me! *m-wah!* now.... back to studying for my next 3 finals...yuck! Oh! and if you are rich and you love me, and want to donate money to the "May needs money to be able to go to college next year because she will only be getting $4000 in finacial aid and doesn't really have parents and needs about $12,000 more, fund," also please email me!! LOL!!
united we stand. divided we fall. think about that statement. does anyone notice that we are almost fully divided? is anyone aware? we walk side by side, and are still strangers once upon a time people talked to each other people were not afraid why is everyone so scared now? why can't be all be friends? why are we becoming divided? un-united we could never stand together if the government were to become bad... one day we will fall....
a great big empty world the tears run down her face the sad truth beneath the lies that no one really cares about anyone but themselves
painful words and bruises the protective shield is gone broken bubble thrust into reality all alone
the emptiness of real the face of pain no way to explain this dreadful truth that we ignore
the reason why people create a god out of awareness of this state of need
what makes us vulnerable to the enemy his charms the promise of love so superficial
but we grasp the only light we can see whether good or bad it's what's we need
it's our only hope the only dust of love our only way to exist create a new bubble and pretend all over again.
GOD There is a state of mind so awakened too awakened where one can see deeper than is supposed to be seen past the concept of the human world
CHORUS: too far in to the human heart out of the comfort zone by far past the boundaries of this world where the concept of God is seen CHORUS the reason for the belief the hope in something real the sad truth of the human race so far from any quality of God designed in the worst way almost to prove his existence obsolete CHORUS but upon realization for the hundredth time of their underlying qualities the need for God arises as the only truth that's there CHORUS one can only hope his existence to be true the only chance for comfort and for purpose maybe the reason to live at the least the reason to hold on despite the knowledge of how things really are. CHORUS
TRUTH I have seen too much too many times to forget the realness of the pain of the emptiness of this world my innocence is stained and it cannot be replaced I know too much the bitter truth of mankind if I died how long would you care? when people are hurting others still think of themselves of the fun they'll have and the things they'll buy what they want block out the realization and the pain of facing reality while creating the reality making it at the same time worse every day just the same as they live in the realms just outside reality.
Mia and I are so blonde!!! We were both aching all over today and we were like "hmmm....did we exercise yesterday?" and we were like "no we were in our rooms all day...and we weren't even together" we thoughtt it was odd that BOTH of us hurt in the sames spots at the same time, after quickley ruling out alien abduction, we decieded that we must have exercised together in our sleep! kinda like sleep walking...and that we just didn't remember (jokingly of course!)...and FINALLY we were like "oh...YEAH...duh..." and we then remebered that we had a two hour photo shot yesterday, where we climbled a tree and had to jump off something like 30 times, and then build a human pyramid....i wonder how we BOTH forgot that whole block of time!!??
Hier soir je suis allé aux falaises avec mon ami Matt. (Last nightI went to cliffs with my friend Matt) Nous avons parlé pour trois heures, c'etait interessant...Je pense que Matt doit aller au TJ avec moi!!! s'il vous plait Matt??
Today was nice...i went to the beach all alone for the first time in my life! weee! i'm six years old now! LOL...(recomended by Shasta...) and it was so relaxing!! it was so nice to not have someone constantly talking in my ear about meaning less things....i actually got some homework done, and i got to relax (miricle!!)...and i got exercise (i had to walk all the way there!!) then i got to eat ice cream (YUM!!) because chris drove down to SD and suprised me....now i have to study for my stupid french final!! or ONE of them....we have THREE FRENCH finals!! the one tomorrow is an hour long essay....
some people are SO shallow...all they ever talk about is boys and getting fucked up or drunk! Yay for them! They are SO COOL now! WOW! so original, creative, and unique!! I wish i could be a SHEEP too! (saracasticly, of course!) if this sounds like you, you might want to consider getting a REAL muliti-dementional life! (and school stuff does NOT count!!)
GOD!! There is this really annoying fat ugly fake blonde trashy slut that is ALWAYS in my house!! she has the ugliest face i have ever seen in my life, and her annoying voice reminds me of steve urcle, as does her unwanted presence...AND she doesn't know how to knock...it's so SAD, even her own best friends talk shit about her behind her back! I HATE her sooooooooooo much, she annoys me, get her out of my house!! I'm going to throw up if i have to look at her wrinkled fake tan face ONE more time, and her lips curl up when she talks...i can't stand it!! I must be in hell!! I just know that this is what hell will be like!! YUCK! someone please take her discusting image out of my mind!! I'm going to have nightmares!! Maybe if i think of Joann, Jena, Cicely, or Mia....their pretty and KIND faces will erase hers....NO...it doesn't work!! someone help me please!! This girl is such an ugly BITCH, that nothing seems to work!! I'll pay someone $2.58 to kill her!! HAHA! that is all she is worth...actually i would not even waste that on her.....maybe a penny...ONLY if i find one on the ground!! Sorry....had to VENT!! I love you: to all my NON-superficial friends, and old highchool peoples!! And Jena...keep with your theory of being nice to people...you are a sweetheart!
Mia and I had a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaallly cheesy photo shoot today, for UCSD...they might use our cheesy pictures in booklets and on the web for up to 3 years (yuck!)We only did it in order to be able to put them in our portfolio... it sucks....I had two really good ideas for song today....and I didn't write them down!! and I forget them! ahhhhh!
random song lyrics (still incomplete) {about how old people always smile at everyone and "we" coldly pass by everyone...}
do you smile because you are from another generation? or do you smile because you've learned?
to drop your inhibitions rethink your worldly position will we all be your way someday
ANOTHER BIT OF A SONG : do you watch me? from behind your computer screen? waiting for your chance wanting to move but you can't.
restrain your thoughts your wondering mind suppress it all down pretend it's not there lie to yourself
the cigarettes make you feel all better and the smoke clouds your lustful thoughts your drug to survive this endless passion
do you want me? I see your thoughts that should not be seen and you're...waiting for your chance wanting to move but you can't.
ANOTHER PIECE OF A SONG: my dreams have all been washed away from the palette that is my mind and I find myself melting into the ways of your kind I’m unaware of the direction to go the way seemed so clear many years ago
ANOTHER: you haunt my dreams and fill my thoughts glamorous disgust and contempt
the creation of my poor judgment the end of my stereotypical world
and I fell one too many times into the hands of unsuspecting eyes my own defeat
AND ONE MORE>>>> ambitiously energized you capture their interest and their eyes
everyone one just wants to be loved and accepted- it is what drives people to do mostly everything that they do.
out the all the dishes i brought to college, here is what is left: 1. a broken mug 2. a moldy blender, that WAS brand-new until my very 'considerate' roomate used it
What i came with: (2 mugs, 6 glasses, 4 wine glasses, and the blender) Luckly i bought, and hid in my room....5 other wine glasses + 2 shot glasses, and they are still alive!!! (so are my crystal ice cream dishes and juice glasses...but that's because they live in a box!!)
why are cherries so expensive??? i spent $9 last week on them! i love cherries!!
and why is that when i'm eating WAY less junk food, and WAY more vegtables and stuff this year, i am GAINING weight??!! Oh well...maybe one day i will be fat enough to be put in a rabbit stew...(sorry..that was SUPPOSED to be funny!)
Lots of girls claim that they "hate" other girls or that they don't get along with them.... The reason that girls have trouble getting along with other girls: (from the words of many husbands that have been married for long periods of time:)is that "Girls are Always right." So if you take two girls with conflicting points of view, who are both "right," and put them together all you get is an argument, and so of course they hate each other and can't get along!! On the other hand, when you put a guy and a girl together, it works great: the girl is always right, and the guy is always wrong! No argument necessary!!
May is FINALLY going to bed...YAY! (OH...and sorry to anyone who just got this web-address...it's pretty content-less, so far, it's all about the visual!!)
My invisible friend BOB is missing, has anyone seen him??!!
really gay news: i won the tee-shirt design for the 1700 building! weeee! they are red (baby tees for the girls/baggy for the guys) shirts that say "UCSD Hottie" on the front, and have a small star on the top of the back, in white letters....i am really amazed that i won, that was a 4am design! haha...but then again, the trick to winning contests at ERC is to enter them!!!
wow...i'm way too adicted to feeling and being creative lately!! I have done NO homework for the past two weeks....i'm all burnt out...i don't care if finals are next week!! I've been to TJ three times these past two weeks....i made a shirt, which took 13 hours, i've been writing songs, and the biggest waste of time is that i have been working on this stupid website!! AHHHH! What am i doing??!! I'm wasting my life away! I hate computers!!!
For those of you that really have never bothered to get to know me ONE bit!...: NO! I AM NOT GOING "HOME" IN THE SUMMER!! i do not have a "home" to go to, and therefore, i am not, and can not go home! Thank you very much! If you ever decide to get your head out of the world of "what she, he, and they did yesterday, and last weekend...," and actaully care about knowing something about the actual PERSON you are gossiping about,...and if this person happens to be me, on any given day, ask away!!! I will be living in Redondo Beach...if you want to go dancing with me in the summer...at any of the lovely LA clubs...email me!
more people staring at me in an evil way today because of what i was wearing...2 ugly fat sorority bitches...said "ewww...what is she wearing?!" I turned around and looked at them...they stared...and talked about me for at least 10 minutes....talk about having NO life!! it's like: Yeah, let's talk about someone we DON'T know, who didn't even do anything to us! We are so cool that we don't have anything to talk about of our own, so me must talk about others! Like Oh My God! well i guess it's that...or maybe i'm really important(LOL)...they wasted 10-15 minutes of their day just to talk about me!? wow i must be famous! Hmmm...what am i supposed to do? be mean to them?? i don't like to be mean...But this is getting really old...Mia says that i should tell them "you are just jealous, because you are too FAT to wear this!"...i don't think that would do any good...but she is right that there is probably NO WAY to make them realize how immature they are being...whatever...i just laugh at them for being so silly!!
Random song lyrics(incomplete and they suck....): (copyright May J*cob 2002) i'd write more of my songs on here, but i really don't want them stolen....there's gotta be SOMEONE out there stupid enough to steal bad lyrics!! i'm sorry i didn't know that i was supposed to pretend that nothing happened forget all our feelings
and you can't blame me for what i didn't know didn't know we had to act so old
i feel my innocence dying in your hands each day and my hopeful mind is begining to decay again.
