some people just really scare me. there's copying and then there's COPYING. come on dude! you don't need to jack my words too! that's just creepy! and i'm sure you could come up with something much better than me anyway! oh and better than lipstickparty. come on! don't copy jourdan too! god! you remind me of that girl on lsp that everyone hated...littlebit...or something...dude! don't try so hard!
oh my goodness! my stupid cat! grrr! chris and i went to get catfood and some other stuff from the store and when we came back the stupid cat was missing!! it had jumped out the window---a little more than three stories high! anyway after an hour of worrying, we went looking for it, and found it down the street---WAY up in a tree!! what a typical bratface cat! he's so terrible---it's like the nightmare cat! anyway so we spent another hour trying to get him out of the tree---of course he was in the hardest to climb tree! he was meowing and scared and he wanted to get down and come home---but of course, he was a scaredy cat! haha. anyway finally chris had to drive his truck up over the sidewalk and under the tree--i then stood on the car and tried to get the cat---after a couple times of driving up next to the tree--he FINALLY got brave and inched his way down to where he could be reached---i grabbed him and took him home---i gave him some milk and he ate like a ton of catfood---then i gave him a bath and dryed him off......poor little thing---hopefully he won't ever jump out the window again!---or maybe he fell....??
on another note, someone from singapore wrote this: "ewww...you suck alot! you think you're so sexy but you're not!" IP#: 165.21.154.13 (it could be a chick named Michelle...? the IP is only one digit off....) hahahahahaha is all i have to say. i don't think i'm sexy! that's the most ridulous thing i've ever heard in my life! i may think that i'm 5 years old---i may think that i'm 2, i may think that i'm a cat, but i certainly don't think that i'm sexy! if she thinks that then she totally and completely missed the point...oh well. some people just can't ever get beyond the surface level....
and with that said, here goes another night of NO SLEEP...another all night paper....this is really killing me. i'm going to die soon---i am---and i have another paper due this week, a midterm, and a quiz. next week i have two midterms and a quiz. the next week i have another 10 page paper and a quiz or two---and on and on and on. soon i shall be dead. not to mention that i'm still on PAGE ONE of my reading for these midterms----oh yeah, and i still don't have my MMW topi. SOMEONE HELP! PLEASE!?!!
yay! i helped a boy! he was 22----never had a girlffiend---never kissed anyone---never had been to a club--very shy--scared of girls---and so on. last year i took him out dancing in TJ---as just friends of course, but to him it was the closest thing he had ever had to a "date." anyway, i was trying to help him to develope social skills (not that i really have any either---lol)---anyway, he just called me for the first time in about a year--and he sounded so confident on the phone! and he said that he was going out to clubs and stuff now---meeting people---girls---and all kinds of stuff! it was really cool to see that all the hours i spent talking to him and trying to help him actually worked! for once in my life i actually did something that wasn't a complete waste of time---usually i try to help people and then they never take my advice---or they didn't really need help and they wasted my time anyway---i missed a final once because i was trying to help some guy that was sad or whatever--turns out he wasn't that sad--and that i shouldn't have even bothered to talk to him....
wow. girls are even more terrible than i thought. it's just "me, me, me, me" and never anything thing else. they want to control the world their way...never caring how it may affect others. they want to make things turn out the way that they decide they should be--even if the situation has nothing to do with them---kind of like an evil version of God--lol--and definately never trust a girl---even one that you 'trust', to talk to your boyfriend alone for a few hours---girls are such bitches, such whores, so selfish---and they only seem to get worse with age---they get bitter, and even more ruthless. they are the perfect example of WHY i hate all people. a look into the mind of a girl is a frightening thing. i've experienced it one too many times--
---and yes i keep all of your secrets---and in return for what? i take all the blame for you, let you appear like a saint, let myself look bad instead---so you can be an angel in his eyes---but in reality, you are worthless. you don't deserve him at all. you are nothing but a selfish liar. you will never know true love as long as you choose to worship yourself---
...i'm sorry, but WHO is Clay Aiken? and is he gay? and is he dating carmen? i don't know who ANYONE is....much less this person... actually, i really don't care. forget i asked. it's just that a lot of people get to my friend kian's page by searching that...what's the big deal about this clay guy? oh yeah and also ryan seacrest...who's that? are these people related to american idol? what ever happened to TV...what's with all these lame real-people and "reality tv" shows? let me tell you, they are NOT reality....and if you think they are, you have problems! go outside. tv sucks.
a couple people wanted these, so here: get your anti-avril, i hate avril, avril is not punk, avril is a poser, etc... shirts [[click here]] yay. the end. if you are 12, please don't send me hate mail. avril sucks, so does brittany spears. get over it and stop idolizing pathetic pop stars. in fact, don't idolize anyone. the end...times two.
and i was all alone and i am always alone always on the outside.
people speaking spanish on the right asians chatting on the left white girls blabbing about meaningless things behind me. everyone in pairs with me in the middle all alone not fitting into anyone's world anyone's reality just all alone quiet trying to be invisible watching. listening outside, on the outside and always alone.
am i superhuman enough now to be human? will you judge me? can i be myself?
i truely understand but i can't find anyone to understand.
WOW...and again, i say wow. i just looked at some of my pages in netscape. they are so fucked up!!! it's horrible. death to netscape!!! grrrr! netscape is a designer's nightmare. yeah, so anyways...if you use netscape, all i have to say is 1)you're an idiot 2) it's slower the IE 3)i hate you 4) don't use it 5) CONFORM dammit! lol i don't believe in conforming, BUT we must all conform to ONE browser...that is the only logical thing to do. and IE is the browser of choice---it makes EVERYTHING look better. yeah, so GREAT!...now what do i do???? change everything...? grrrr. i'm SO MAD. KILL the creaters of netscape!!!!!!!! (and all other worthless browsers!)
UPDATE: so netscape is not THAT bad....if you download the NEW VERSION it's not THAT bad....i mean the colors and borders are still kinda off, but at least it's readable.....but still it messes up my designs a bit, and hello? it's still very slow.
the newest version of the UCSD hottie shirt ...buy one! you can also buy a maystar designs logo shirt cuz you know, one day i'll be famous and....lol....no acatully don't buy anything (unless you really want it of cousre)...cafeshops is a rip-off, i make only about $3 off of each shirt...i could make more but then you would have to pay more...so basically cafeshops makes all their money off other people's designs....grrrrr
yay!! someone (danielle) from junior high (and part of ninth grade) just found my site!!! i THINK she found me by searching for 'joann yatar' ...but i'm not that sure... danielle was one of my crazy best friends...haha...she has a child now! eeek! everyone that went to my junior high has kids---very strange--anyway it's a cute little girl named Ashley! --finally my website has a purpose!---more people i know need to find me!
ok i'm going to sleep now, i can't even think straight!
grrrrrrr boycott victoria's secret! they sell such crap!! $16 for a pair of underwear that looks even worse than things i make! CHEAP fabric, poor quality sewing...and sizing...they are designed for disfigured big people! what a waste of money... click here and here and also here anyway so yeah...they used to have better pix up...but anyway, in real life, they are WAY worse...like even worse than k-mart! lol oh yeah, and the pjs i got! ick! the cheapest fabric ever! what a rip off grrr...well at least they have good bras---even if they are $40.....
Q: why doesn't May put her millions of poems/songs on her website? A: because i consider them more valuable than meaningless pictures and webdesigns, and seeing that those get stolen and claimed as someone else's, i definately will never put up stuff that i write...besides..even if YOU wouldn't steal them, there's always an 8th grader out there, looking to "copy" poems...at least everyone wanted to "copy" mine back in 8th grade---who knows what they've done with them! lol ....and who knows how many "copies" there would be by now if they had put them on the web----
see my new design![ h y d r o g e n - r a i n b o w ] i made it instead of studying for my physics class! lol it's based off the emission line spectrum for hydrogen ...at least what i saw.... in 'real' life there isn't suppost to be any green...so maybe there was mercury or something in the hydrogen spectrum we saw in class. [click here ane go to page 21 to see what i'm talking about!] also note that the entire design is made of code--it took MANY MANY lines of code to make that spectrum!
time flys by... when you're NOT having fun. i'm having a bad, stressful week....err i mean life! where has my week gone? where has this quarter gone? someone help! make time slow down! it's the end of week three, and all i've done is read two short plays and about 7 pages of my mmw reading...i haven't ever opened the books for my other classes! i've missed a section, a quiz and two days of class already...i haven't turned in my research paper question yet...it was due wednesday!! in fact, i haven't even started research yet!! tonight i was supposed to see a play and write a paper on it...but i didn't wake up from my nap in time and got there too late to get into see the play. i'm so stressed out that i can't even function! where has all my time gone?? why is it that i haven't had any fun, yet haven't even had time for homework?! i swear, time really is going by at light speed! what used to be called a day now seems to go by in about 4 hours....does anyone else feel like me????? anyway, i've got a quiz tomorrow (or maybe two) and i haven't even read!...yet all i can think about is the stupid design that i have in my head--that i've wanted to make since wednesday--this is insane! oh, and i can't even find my book!! how can i study--how can i read?! where did it go??!! helppppppp! my head is spinning!
ok, i REALLY need to ground myself from the computer!!! i redesigned these pages also: [maystar designs] [custom designs] i also made part of a website for *lisa* ! (no, you don't get to see it yet...)
and then she appeared---- and she was beautiful- like sunlight- and for a brief moment---- --everything was okay.
a little cartoon i made....(i need to re-learn how to draw!) americans live in a bubble---their own bubbles---of false realities---but some people's bubbles are popped---and they know the truth--the way life really is---the bad things, the pain---it's bad to live in a bubble--yet bad to live outside one---
THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE! so i've had trouble with people jacking my code and slightly modifying it and posting it on blogskins as there own "design"....one girl sweetly deleted hers, she didn't mean any harm *rainbow connections* and i don't think she knew she was stealing code. Anyway this other jerk, stole my code from 3 of my designs!! and it is like word for word MINE! haha... they even have the same crosshair curser i use, the same border around the hovered links, the same screwed up combo of html and css and whatever else my pathetic designs are made out of!....yet this idiot insists on pretending that she/he did it herslef. thinks she can lie to me about MY OWN CODE! what an idoit! maybe i'll just delete all my designs off the entire internet. i'm so sick of people stealing my stuff! they steal PICTURES OF ME, MY DESIGNS, etc and always claim it is them. what idiots! who the hell would actually want to be me and have my fucked up life?? weirdos. anyway if you are stealing something from me, i WILL hunt you down and kill you! i'm pyscho like that!
YAY ! free webhosting at last!! thanks to my friend! this page and my home page will still remain on blogger though. at leat for now anyway. [NEW re-designed bio page!!!]but the background just won't work! nevermind i fixed it!
okay...where the hell are all my web pages?? the server is down! what's going on? they can't do that! lol someone please give me life time free web-hosting...please??
i was on the computer for 23 hours straight... anything not to do homework! god...it's the end of week 2 and i've gotten nothing read for school, at all!...and midterms are coming up and papers due next week...ahhhhhh! get me out of here! i hate UCSD! i want to run away! WEBSITE UPDATES: [the picture page] has a slightly new look. and the [main "home" page] is completely re-designed! (again.) the [facts page] is also re-designed...go LOOK at them! this is what i do instead of my homework...tee hee...i even missed 3 classes yesterday...eeeek...sorry, don't ground me! i'll do homework now! ...well, maybe not...
NEW! sign up to receive updates when i post new pictures, songs, or re-design my pages: i also made a new blog template: [the twilight zone] it's kinda neat, go look at it too!
oooooh i HATE blogger! it corrupts so many scripts...i can't take it any more!!! everytime i change my template, the code brakes and i have to re-aply it from a notepad doc. somewhere on my badly organized computer! grrrr! death to blogger!
i wonder how many more people would take me seriously if i had a deeply dark black and depressing looking blog. sometimes it seems like people see pink, stars and then blonde hair and think "shallow, childish girl that has a happy life and goes to the mall..." oh, how so wrong they are. i'm sure those people never even make it to my bio page..... i wonder how many people don't read my blog just because it's pink and girly....? the funny thing is that i don't even like pink all that much, it is just the blog color of the moment.
being blonde is a hard thing. just by existing you are labled shallow or ditzy. no one thinks you're smart. with bright red hair you are labled "scene" "punk" "emo" "gothic" or just "weird" ...people think you are deep. with brownish hair, people treat you somewhat like a "normal" person...many more boys (in real life!) like you and try to hook up with you... (with the other two haircolors boys ignore you...i'm not sure why...)
it's funny how people treat you differently based on your haircolor and the colors you wear and use.....
No Refill okay, so you know how plastic water (and soda) bottles say "no refill?"...well that doesn't mean "no free refill"..., it means "Do not refill -because this plastic is not made well enough to be refilled and will posion you if you refill it with anything." when reused or washed, the bottles shed harmful chemicals like DEHA, which is a carcinogen: "suspected of causing cancer in humans"......So the next time you want to take tap water with you somewhere, you might want to consider using something else to put it in...... [article on plastic bottles] as for me, i think the tap water tastes like posion without the help of plastic...yuck...(like the little girl in the movie "signs"...)
ok, so i dyed my hair "PLATINUM"....and i even used professional stuff... but, of course, it's MY hair....so it turned out weird...i like it...but it's not platinum! it's like bright yellow-white at the roots and then bright light pinkish orange which fades to blondish redish...it's hard to see in pictures...but here are some anyway. i also gave myself a haircut..... ["platinum" blonde pix] ["platinum" blonde singer pix]
yeah...as you can tell, i really don't feel like writing....
