SAVE CLUB BLUE!!! Please help!!!! it's my favorite club!! Email: garcetti@council.lacity.org and tell them to keep the club around! ASAP!!! they are discrimating against the underground/gothic look of some of the clubbers there and claiming that there is a noise problem, when in reality, there isn't one!!! PLEASE HELP SAVE MY FAVORITE CLUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hurry!!! read this for more info:
We have a very important meeting with Eric Garcetti (the councilman for the Hollywood district) on Thursday, regarding the future of Blue. We need as many letters of support as we can get going into this meeting. There is strength in numbers, and we have to prove to the Councilman's office that we are a major political force in Los Angeles. We have over 11,000 ECE Members, and a web site that gets over 100,000 hits per month. If he decides to be against us, it will be political suicide.
It all comes down to our scene, which makes it a discrimination issue. Goth/Industrial people do not fit into the new Hollywood. They will never admit publicly that there is an issue with our scene, but the evidence is overwhelming. They are trying to paint us as a public nuisance, but we all know that the police are never at our club - Blue never has problems. The Las Palmas Club up the street has two or three calls for service per week, what Blue has in a year. But they have a high end Hollywood crowd that spends money, so the LAPD looks the other way. This is all about how we look, not the way that we act.
Eric Garcetti & the LAPD want us to shut down at midnight, as corrective conditions for the so called "Public Nuisance." And they know very well, that this will put us out of business. Therefore the club will be gone, and they won't look like bad guys, because they did not revoke our permits, and allowed us to stay open - but only until midnight. They seem to overlook that there are 70 jobs at stake - 70 families will be affected by their decision.
Eric Garcetti only won the last election by 1000 votes. There are more than enough voters and their friends that patronize Blue to change the future of the Los Angeles political landscape. This is your chance to be heard - Write another letter to Eric Garcetti, and let him know how you feel. Send this email to everyone that you know.
Eric Garcetti's email address: garcetti@council.lacity.org This is your city, your future, your vote.
it sucks, i feel like there is never enough time to learn all the things i want to learn and do all the things i want to do. there isn't even enough time to listen to all the music i want to listen to!! i wish time would just slow down!! why didn't anyone ever tell me that time goes by faster when you get older?!?!?! i swear, a week goes by in less than a day, and a day goes by in just a few hours!!
it's another "tonight" story... i really hate "what i did last night" blogs, because most of the time, they don't even say anything, because the emotions and fun and vividedness of the night can never be captured into words...yet still, i've gotten into this habit of writing down almost everything i go out and do...i know that when i look back on it, it will help me to remember, and everything won't blend into one...but still, sometimes i wonder how many of you would rather not read such un-interesting blogs ... if i didn't have SO MANY people reading my blog that i DON'T want reading this, i could do much better, but as long as there is at least one person reading, it can never be entirely honest and open...some things you just have to keep in your head i guess (yeah, because the whole secret blog thing is just too time consuming!) but anyways, tonight Jason and Shiloh and I met Sarah at the Ken club and we had a few drinks (which totally don't affect me AT ALL anymore) and we started up the dancing with Abe, (the overly-drunken DJ) and then talked and hung out for a bit...then my Sarah left and J and Shi and I went to Shi's and hung out for a little bit, and Jason gave me the coolest CD ever!!! hehehe ...a Larry Tee electroclash 2 disk CD ...he's so sweet ...i've completely forgotten how to be sweet...i used to always suprise my boys with all sorts of things (usually things that i made), but i just got burned out after awhile ...things that are one-sided suck! anyways, back to my story ... going to bars with people you know where other people you know hang out feels A LOT like junior high ...it's kind of nice to have something to look forward to and to be social again ...although SO often i just do not feel like being social...i just feel like being quiet and i never seem to have anything to say....i need to be around people like Marcy and Greg to steal energy from...otherwise i'm just boring....i'm far too depressed to have my own energy or be creative and fun anymore ... if those chemical imbalances really exist, i'm pretty sure i've got one! i can be depressed on the happiest days....
according to the amount of units i have, i'll be a junior again (still) next year, instead of a senior....this is normal for my school, but still a little strange for me. i'm used to putting all my effort into school and aiming for perfection, straight A's and everything else...but i am just SO burned out that i don't even want to think about school anymore! i don't even want to write essays trying to get the basic scholarships i always try to apply for ...i'm just so over it...i can't think anymore, can't write anymore... i look back at things i've written in the past, and it's just like "wow, *I* wrote that??!" and it amazes me...because i don't have the patience to write anything anymore, nor the ability to think or care ...even writing an auto-biographical essay feels too hard!!! i can't wait until i get out of school!! yeah, so i guess i better foucus more on school and take more classes, otherwise i'm never going to get out of here!!! although my main focus is supposed to be social life and not grades...it's all too overwhelming, i just want to sleep!! forever! it never feels like there's enough time to do anything....
i wonder how hurt i would get on a daily basis without chris existing as "mine" ...i'm pretty sure that so many little tiny things would hurt me...but knowing that chris is there for me, in some form, lets me ignore those things that would hurt....kinda makes me "normal" or stable instead of over-sensitive.
and everything inside is screaming "like me!" with a sudden empty feeling that i haven't felt in awhile but it's the kind of thing that can only end in tears yet i'm still longing to persue, wishing for a piece of you even though in the end, i know we'll both have to part.
oh yeah, and on thursday night, i went to Jason's and sulked for a bit, and then to club 80's with J, Greg, and Shi...and that was really fun...and i didn't even drink anything at all! then we went to Shi's for an afterparty with his cousin and some random girls and that was fun too! especially since we go to eat! i like eating!! food is great! hehehe
what happens in vegas, stays in vegas, so that's all you get to know. the end. go away now. just kidding! Greg, Shiloh, Jason, and I all got married to each other ...all of us!! no, just kidding again. hehehe ...but yeah, so we got to vegas at like 1am, checked in, drank some cosmos, got dressed, and then went wandering around vegas...hanging out with those boys is so fun that it doesn't matter where we are (although it would be more fun if my bianca was around...it's fun to plot against the boys with her! hehehe...) but yeah, so we climbed over a wall, ran up the down escalator, and just laughed a lot as we wandered nowhere. then we went to mcdonalds for breakfast, and then back to the hotel room, and went to bed (after sitting in the window sill, jumping on the bed, hanging out for a bit...lol) then we woke up, got dressed and went an over-priced buffet (like $25 per person!!), then we went back to the hotel room and rested and laughed/played around a bit, then we went back out again, climed over the same wall again and went to a bar at the top of this place Greg likes ... greg bought us all drinks, and we hung out till the bar closed...then we tried to go to another bar and to ghostbar, but we had no luck with one, and didn't really have the money to pay the $20 cover for ghostbar, so we went to Studio 54 at the MGM Grand, because Anthony had always talked about how great it was and so has everyone else ...well, we got there and it was nothing like i had heard or imagined...it was much smaller, darker, dirtier, and so on, and the music was "eh" ...but luckily the boys were there, so it wasn't bad at all. shiloh saved the day and bought some cloves and shared them with me, and jason bought me a couple watermelon martinis which were actually made right for once! and greg was just greg. lol but yeah, so we went upstairs and hung out on a cool little couch, and then jason and i danced to one song, but then i decided i'd rather hang out with the boys than dance to terrible music ...then finally some better music came on and we all danced until the club closed. then we went home and slept....later we woke up, ate at a 50's place, checked out, went to a gift shop, and then drove home (which took forever thanks to an accident!) so i got home at something like 1 or 1:30am ... we had tons and tons of fun, but only because we were all together and not really because of anything we did. lots and lots of little jokes and random fun...words cannot describe the kind of fun we all have together....but yeah, i was not impressed by Vegas one bit! possibly if the music had been better, i would have felt differently ... i wish i wasn't so spoiled by and addicted to electroclash stuff! it really takes the fun out of anything that plays "normal" music... so once again: it's not where you go, it's the people you're with....
why you shouldn't take ANY kind of drug, even if they "help" : [correction: not including heart meds, and that kind of stuff ... i just mean mainly mental illness drugs and illegal drugs] yes, (depression type, etc) drugs might help if you say they do, BUT it's no different than illegal drugs ... they help you deal with and cover up the pain of life, but they don't fix "the problem" they only cover the problems up!! and the problems CAN BE FIXED other ways! and should be. it's bad to cover them all up. they aren't really gone that way. it's kinda like drinking alcohol to feel more at ease...lots of people do it ...but it's really fucking sad that they can't be themselves without help from a drug thing...like i said before, people shouldn't rely on drugs of any type to go through life... it's the cheap, easy way out, and not really even efficient in the end...people just need to learn to talk and think through their problems ... like feeling insecure and worrying can even be cured...most things are actually cured with love and friendship, so if you don't have any of that, go find some!
!!!!! this is SO perfect....this is sooooo my thing to say to chris: click here and read .....and it's not a joke either!! his dumb-ness makes me insanely mad and mean sometimes! i'm just like "chris!! GRRR!! one plus one is TWO, not 6, get it right!!!!! common sense!!!" lol (graphic stolen from heather's blog) and i really will be nicer when he's smarter ... i'm just waiting for him to get smarter!! but it seems like he's only getting dumber!!! i mean, yeah, he's smart in some ways, but his lack of common sense and stuff just drives me crazy!
you know, i make no sense!! i'm such an open-minded, accepting person, and yet at the same time, i hate everything! that's a terrible combination! they contradict each other! i guess it's just that i can be accepting and understanding of the things i hate ... or something ... maybe it's just that i don't really hate anything, i just over use that word ... i think that's all it is ... who knows... lol ...i must just be crazy! that's the simplest answer! i'm just always scared that people are going to be afraid to be open with me because they hear me saying "i hate this, i hate that..." when really, they can tell me anything at all and i won't think they're weird or hate them....but actually i think my friends are all smart enough to know this already... and they know i'll beat them up or bite them if they don't tell me everything they're thinking!! hehehe ... right marcy?!
lack of communication is the reason most relationships fail. that, and of course the money thing. the more you tell the other person and the more you talk, the closer you get, and the less misunderstandings you have....
oh, by the way, that last post was ONLY just in response to all you people that keep commenting and don't seem to know exactly what's going on....
oh and but on the other hand, i can't even kiss chris anymore, i don't love him in that way at all...so it makes the option of staying with him a really hard choice ...i'm not "in love" with him at all ... i'm "in love" with Jason ...(who i'm dating right now, if you don't know that already)...but i'm really too scared to be in a new real "closed" relationship ... and Jason is a lot like chris in good (and some bad) ways ...(he's also better and different in some ways) so i just don't know... it's too confusing...i guess i have some kind of fear of commitment/ fear of relationships... because i KNOW that all relationships CHANGE and get worse as time goes on...the people find things they disagree on, and then they fight or go just go on unhappy ... and i just don't want that!! never again!! i can't deal with that anymore ... i want my relationships to stay happy and perfect! i'm a perfectionist at heart...i just really can't deal with anymore disappointment... yeah, so i've lost hope... that's maybe why chris seems better than everyone else in a weird kind of way... because i already KNOW his flaws and can deal with them... i'm comfortable with them ...so it's just too confusing ...i don't know what i want ... i don't know what to do...
wait! i'm not an idiot! lol there's a reason i'm with chris.... obviously i wouldn't put up with all this stuff if there wasn't *something* good about him...first of all, he's young and still stupid, so he'll probably learn how to deal with money eventually (and if not then he's an idiot and should be shot!) but yeah...we have some strange connection...like we are meant for each other...some people think that if they share a lot of the same interests that they are meant for each other, but that's all shallow and superficial meaningless stuff...interests CHANGE...you can't rely on that as basis for a relationship, because when your interests change, then you have absolutely nothing ... (although it is really nice to have common interests as an extra thing!!) but yeah, chris and i have some kind of bond ... like a mother and child type thing almost ... that's the best way i can describe it...and you can't just go get a new mom/child! but yeah, we have a super great friendship/relationship ...we just have some things that need to be fixed, and right now, both of us are just too tired to deal with those problems, so we are ignoring them instead, for once. i'm pretty sure that all we need is to grow up a little ... get some more experiance and live a little, away from each other, like having seperate groups of friends and stuff...like dating other people, etc... we are both wayyy too young to be in a serious relationship!! people shouldn't get married until they are 30 or 40!! (by the way, my single 30-40 year old girl friends say that being single in your 30's is the funnest thing ever...as long as you have good jobs and go out a lot and stuff) but yeah, our problems are small and fixible ... and i've tried other guys before, and it just doesn't work!! without that understanding and emotional connection like chris and i have, nothing can ever feel right ... other boys feel cold and are scary and unfamilair in ways... chris was *never* like that...we were best friends the day we met! i'm going to love him forever, no matter what....i believe in that unconditional love thing ... but if he keeps being "mean" to me, which he's never really done before, i will leave... but that just means i'll be unhappy forever ...because as bad as chris is, there is no one better than him ... NO I'M NOT CRAZY! you just don't understand what i mean...sure, there are guys that have money, and a job, and a future, and are nice, and sweet, and caring, and so on... but they just don't make me FEEL the way chris does ... he makes me feel safe and secure in some emotional way... he's always been here for me no matter what evil things i did to him and he loves me no matter what, and i never feel stupid or shy or insecure around him... i can say anything at all, and not feel stupid ... and it's not just because i've been with him forever, it's because part of him is so loving and caring and sweet...oh and another thing i love about him is that we share the same sense of humor ... i've NEVER met another boy like that!! we think the same kinds of things are stupid ... (like we both don't really care for the simpsons.... yeah, don't hate us!! and see??! we ARE meant to be together! lol) ..but yeah, so he never ever says anything "lame" because we are so the same in that way... other people will sometimes have entire conversations about things i don't think are funny....and they just laugh and laugh about lame things that i don't think are funny...and i just stand there like: "okaayyy?" but yeah, chris and i are just perfect for each other in strange ways like that ... whatever it is, knowing that he's here and hugging him makes me happy...and comforts me ....i'm convinced that no one else can make me happy like that ... but they can distract me!! and make me have fun... but it's just not the same...i need both! hey, i know, i'll marry TWO people ...LOL
i need new music!! anyone know of any cool electroclash/synth pop/indie/brit rock/80's bands/songs? i want stuff that's got a lot of synth type stuff in it ... help me! help me! i'm sick of finding stuff on my own! i have dial up! it's too hard to surf the internet!
it doesn't matter where you are, it only matters who you're with... or something like that, but it's sooo true! tonight i went to the dullest places (lol) with the most wonderful people and i had SO much fun!!! i was sitting at home crying and feeling suicidal and stuff when jason invited me out to the casbah with justin, shiloh, and greg... i soooo did not feel like getting dressed or anything, but i knew that it would be best if i went out, so i did...anyway, the music was kinda cool and the "DJ's" were crazy and random with their wanna-be performance art stuff, but it wasn't enough to make me happy (because it wasn't dancing!) ..but the boys made me happy instead...! (and maybe the lucky charms we got for free...yes, at a bar! lol) ...but yeah, it was a fun and random night with those boys, and after the "show" thing was over, we went to CJ's and justin bought some of us drinks and so on, and it was just soooo much fun! i ate tons of bar cherries tonight! weee! after the bar closed, we went to get the mexican food that greg was talking about ALL NIGHT and that was just as fun...oh and we took lots of random pictures too...hehehe... everyone has a camera but me! lol .... oh and yeah, we might all be going to vegas together this weeked (no, chris is not going...no tango dinero!) ...
chris went to jail!!! yeah...so here's the story of my night...it was the most random night ever! it started off with Jason and I heading up to Soma to try to get into the sold out modest mouse show...because we were both too out of it to buy tickets when they actually had them...but anyway, before we even had time to start looking for tickets, we ran into our "friend" Abe, the DJ from neon beat ...he was dumb like us and looking for a ticket too...after asking a few people if they had extra tickets, Abe decided to take my crazy (or "good" in his opinion) idea to climb on the roof and see if we could find a way in!! LOL ...he darted up a closed off ladder up onto the high roof...he went and checked in out for us (hey! i wanted to go on the roof, no fair!) and there turned out to be no way in...so then he had to get down, but he couldn't go down the ladder because there was this huge scary security guard around...so he had to jump off of/climb down the side of the building!! after a few trys he finally did it....so then we took Jason's idea and talked to the front security guard about letting us in for money, the boys sent me to kinda flirt with him...at first he said "no" and then some other people were talking to him and i still waited around....then the guy was like "you're still here?!" and i talked to him a bit more and he finally said "okay, $10 each, but this never happened" and he told me to put the money in the phone and to go around to the back and the other guy would let us in...so we did it, and got in!!! yay! so then we were in and met up with Bianca and kevin and wandered around for a bit...finally modest mouse came on and we were stuck all the way in the back of the huge place ... we couldn't see the band nor really hear them...but bianca and jason seemed content with that...so i didn't suggest us moving like i would have if i would have been with younger more adventurous people (AKA: 16 year olds...LOL) ...but then Jason decided to come with me to fight through the crowd to get closer to the front....it was still hard to get the energy to do it though, because i could so feel that Jason didn't really want to go to the front, and things are only fun if *both* people want to do them...so it took us awhile longer than if i had been with someone else...but we made it up to the front and the sound was much better and jason got to take pictures...it turns out in the end that Jason does like to be up in the front, he just had forgotten what it felt like it...but yeah, so after that we went to the ken club where Abe bought us the drinks he had promised earlier and then we met up with Shiloh and Greg and sat in a booth and talked and laughed and drank a tiny bit...it was soooo fun! Jason and his friends can make any place the most fun in the world ... the only sad thing is that Shi and B broke up, so B wasn't there ... :( ...anyways, so the bar closed and we hung out outside for a bit and i hung upside down from a tree, beat up jason and chased boys... just like grade school! lol ...but yeah, we had fun, but then the fun had to end and so i went home at an early time of only 2:30am for once! i was finally going to get some sleep! ...but as i'm walking up the stairs to my apartment, i get a call from chris...he's like "finally you answer your phone!" and he told me that he was in jail!! and that the bail was $250!! so i called jason and he turned around and came back to my house and we each took our seperate cars and drove downtown to the jail to rescue chris! we had to go to the ATM and stuff and then go back to the jail, and they said that chris wouldn't be able to leave for 4-8 hours, and i made sure that he would have a way to call me so i could pick him up when he got out and they said yes...so i left my car downtown and jason and i went driving around looking at stores and businesses at 4am-ish...jason showed me one of the coolest MOD-designed hotels ever! and also a store that sells MOD stuff...i can't wait to be rich someday!!! hehe...and if i'm never rich, i'll work as hard as i can at mcdonalds to buy the expensive furniture that i want!! (but it'd be better if i was rich, then i could have some money to help homeless people!!!!)....then we went to eat (we were trying to stay up so that we could go get chris) ...then at 6am we decided we better go get my car before the parking meters started, so we did that, then we went back to my house and i was washing my face and chris came home!! i guess he had walked allllll the way home because he tried to call the house phone collect and it was busy (internet was on) ...so i don't know why the jail didn't call me or why he didn't call me from there, but he was really "pissed" (i hate that word, but it's the one that fits best) about having to walk, and then seeing me there with jason and he thought we were making out or something maybe (which is allowed, just not in our house), and he immediatley started yelling at jason... "get the fuck out of my house, i don't want to ever see you in my house again or i'll kill you!" etc... and then chris was pissed at me too... and refused to talk to me for a bit and then he called that crystal bitch and was all sweet with her on the phone and told her what happened that night, instead of telling me, after I USED MY MONEY AND MY TIME TO BAIL HIM OUT OF JAIL!! ....how rude and mean!!! i should have just left him in jail!!! 3 days in jail might have taught him a lesson! god! he is SO MEAN nowadays! yeah, so i cried a little over that, as i layed next to him in bed while he told his story to the girl on the phone... i guess what happened was the police came when he was sleeping because his music was too loud (FUCK YOU STUPID NEIGHBORS! i hate you!) but as usual, it was only the itty bitty computer speakers! grrr! but yeah, chris cussed a the police man and was like "dude i'm trying to sleep here!" etc...and the police man was like watch your mouth or i'll arrest you! and chris was like "fuck you, you can't arrest me for that!"and he was like "wanna bet? ...citizen's arrest" or something and he went downstairs and talked to the people that complained and came back up and took chris away to jail!!! there's a note on my desk that says: "To May I'm in Jail. help me. Chris." ....so yeah... that was that! and i am now $250 poor-er and i also lost $20 at the bar/modest mouse or something!!! so now it's going to be super hard to pay our rent and chris can't go to vegas with me now...so i'll have to go with someone else...but yeah, chris just knows how to throw away our money!! first he spent/wasted my $400 when he stole my ATM card, then he got $336 in overdraft charges on his own account, not to mention the money he wasted on that card! and now $250 for bail!! LOVELY!!!! GRRR!!!!!! i hate idiots!! one of my friends the other day was telling someone about chris (they met at my party) and was like "he's kinda cute, but he is the biggest idiot i've ever seen!" ...
so note to people: while america may SEEM like it's a free country, it's not, so don't be rude to the police!! that's just a dumb idea! lol
to cut or not to cut, that is the question... what do you guys think? should i cut my hair into a cute style? my hair has FINALLY grown out to the lenght i like it at, where i don't have to brush or style it and it looks all curly (if i sleep with wet hair at least) ...i've waited so long for it to be this length and originally i wanted to grow it out to my waist ... and my hair looks better long...and it keeps me warm and covered when i where skimpy shirts! BUT i keep wanting to cut it lately ... i really want to cut it! but at the same time, i want it the same! what should i do??!?! and if you say i should cut it, provide some links to pix of how i should cut my hair!
it's so sad how people "depend" on things like coffee/caffine, drugs, anti-depressants, cigarettes, alcohol, etc, etc, to ease pain, to have fun, to stay awake, get through life and so on...
i drink coffee for fun, (decaf! hehe), and not to stay awake...when i want to stay awake, i give myself energy magically...everyone can do it, i'm sure, i just don't know how to explain how to do so...
i drink alcohol if it's pretty or in a pretty glass and tastes good...again, not to get drunk, or to make things "feel" more fun, but just because it's fun to have pretty drinks and act "grown up"! lol
i rarely ever smoke, but when i do, it's always something that tastes good like hookah's/cloves/whatever and it's purely for social reasons and for "fun" and not because i'm dependant or addicted...
i refuse to ever take anti-depressents or real drugs because they all mess up your head and there's nothing worse than dumb people...or even worse than that, there's nothing worse than not being able to think right ...
and while we're on the topic, i'm pretty much against a lot of things that aren't natural ...i'm not sure how it happened, but i don't take any medicines AT ALL ... i don't use any hair products at all (except for sometimes, just because i have them), or body lotion, and yeah....somehow i ended up like this...although i love makeup, bodyspray, and bubble bath! oh yeah, and i'm trying to use hand lotion and jojoba oil lately...but i keep forgetting to use them....i just hate putting things on my skin! it feels weird! (yes, i was the child that NEVER wore sunscreen...)
but yeah...you people that use drugs/meds/alcohol/cigs/caffine to try to control your body, you should stop! it can all be done without any of that stuff! i stay awake for hours and days without coffee, have fun without drinking/drugs, get happy without anti-depressants, and so on....it's not that hard! just try! (and i've even had a miserable life and it works!)
the iridescent blue glow of the white flawless pool in the dark on the roof of the hotel was just one of the many wonderful things about the place...
so after wanting to go there for at least 2 years, i finally got to step foot inside the standard ...and it was more amazing than i had ever dreamed it would be....i had always wanted to go to the one in hollywood, BUT, turns out the one in downtown LA is much much better....i can't even correctly describe how wonderful the place was...the huge lit-up buildings surrounding the heated roof top bar area...the surreal look of the night sky....the Eero Aarnio inspired mod designs...like the chairs by the pool, and the water beds enclosed in strange shapes, and the couchs and the tables and Vitra Verner Panton Chairs ...everything was just perfect and wonderful ....there were even images projected onto random surfaces like the wall across from the elevator and a building outside!! they even had red uni-sex bathrooms with water that fell from the bottom of the mirror into the silvery colored sink when you waved your hand(s) under it... it was just absolute heaven! that place alone is reason enough to move to LA! the pictures on the website are nothing compared to the way the hotel looks when you're in it!! i was wondering why on earth i'm going to Las Vegas for my birthday when i could just stay in wonderful LA instead!!! but then again, as i noticed long ago, the rooms are too expensive! and so that's why....!
yeah, so enough about that, we have to do that "last night i went" thing...lol...anyway, so Tom and i drove up to LA last night and we went to his friend's house (the old place he used to live for a bit) which was 100% a wherehouse, "home sweet ...ghetto" said tom when we got there...and it really was in a ghetto...but that's what makes LA so wonderful... the run-down-ness of certain places constrasting with the nice-ness of other places...i love every inch of LA....the big rich houses, the hills, the city, the tall buildings...it's all so wonderful and magical ... but anyway, so we got there and had a few drinks (ok, may was not impressed by their lack of girly drinks and only had one...LOL) and waited for the rest of his friends to show up, when everyone got there (there were 9 of us total), we walked about 20 minutes away to The Standard....it was so wonderful and fun to walk in LA at night...i love big cities at night...i smoked (no inhaling though - yuck!) a "clove" cigarette or two for fun...(no, i don't smoke) ...hadn't tried one of those since i went to glamis with anothony over 2 years ago...anyway, so then we got there and i just fell in love with that hotel! i want to live there! i want to own it! or something!!! it was just sooooo great! instead of really talking, i just spent the whole time staring at the design of everything and the lights of the big buildings surrounding us...it was all so visually stimulating...i could stare at something pretty/interesting fro HOURS!!! lol ...tom was sweet enough to buy me drinks, even though they were a zillion dollars... i had a midori sour and two amaretto sours, and i didn't even get anywhere close to drunk or anything...but yeah, so they kicked everyone out around 1am and then we went to some resteraunt and ate, and then back to the wherehouse for a bit where they gave me a tour and it ended up with me being too scared to get down from the roof! but yeah, after 10 minutes, they managed to get me down ... lol ...girl + boots + skirt + scared of heights + scary ladder = doesn't work too well! lol ...but yeah that was about it...we got back to SD around 6 or 7am....i'm sooooooo going back to that place!! i can't wait to move to LA!!! i should drag all my friends with me!
don't EVER let me forget that i HAVE TO move to LA!!!...sometimes i think "oh, maybe i'll stay in hillcrest forever, after all..." i start thinking: i have friends here, i like the little clubs here (all 2 of them), it's sunny sometimes, i like my apartment...and just everything is so comfortable...i have no desire to leave san diego sometimes, but don't let me forget: i have to get out of here!!!
so i'm running out of free time during spring break, so if you wanted to make plans with me, better do it now, before someone else takes up all my time! here's my calender thing (click) monday night i'm going out with whoever finds modest mouse tickets, and if no one does, then i'm going to try to drag someone (jason, sarah?) to the casbah to dance (but they are both poor, so i have this feeling i'd have to pay for them), and if that doesn't work, i'll go with jason to neon beat, since he claims it's so wonderful ... then anyway, i have tuesday night free and all of wednesday and the daytime of thursday, and that's it... so if you want to see me, make plans with me!!
there's no way i'm going to try to make my own plans with anyone, cuz no one ever wants to do what i want to do! i'm done with that! i'm soooooo sick of asking people to do things and it never working out, and then me ending up doing nothing because of it... i'd much rather be a tag-a-long and just go anywhere at all instead of being stuck at home sad that i didn't get to go where i wanted to go...one day, i'll have a car, and i'll just be able to say "i'm going to LA (or whereever), if you want to hang out with me, you can come, if not i'll just go by myself, so there!" hehehe...
but yeah, i have to go get dressed now, because i have to leave to go to LA with tom any second now, and i haven't even taken a shower! eep! but yeah make plans with me if you want to see me!
so today, chris tells me on the phone, (the phone because he still hasn't come home from last night, NOT TO MENTION THAT I'M STARVING TO DEATH AND THERE'S NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE AND HE DOESN'T CARE ...) but yeah, and so he tells me that the next thing he wants to buy is a $3,000 bubble chair! hey that was my idea, like a year+ ago!! what an idea theif! well at least he likes the exact same furniture as i do (although he didn't used to) ...but still, "HEY! what about paying me back!?!? and what about my engagement ring that i've been waiting like 4-5 years for!?!?" that chair should come AFTER those things!! (yeah, if he was sweet enough to save up $5,000 for the star shaped diamond and platinum engagment ring i want, i'd have to say that he'd definately prove a lot of things to me, and he wouldn't be so bad... maybe i just should have married the guy that *was* going to buy me that ring...except for i stopped loving him, for no reason, so that wouldn't have worked....LOL)
jason is great, he makes me chocolate cake! errr, i mean...orange cinnamon rolls!!!! last night i went (what a boring blog, i know,) dancing at transport with Jason...we got there kinda late, but still had fun while we were there. sarah met me there, so that was cool and then i also saw selena, trevor, and (the other) linda...it's fun to see people you know...oh and the music was really good, [except for like 2 or 3 songs...but still that's really really good]...after that we almost went to after hours at Sabbat (they call it "after hours", even though it only goes until 4! hahaha ...most after hours go until like 7 or 9am...at least in LA and Vegas...), but then we didn't feel like going anymore... we ended up just hanging out and talking about almost absolutely nothing until like 8 in the morning...
i have nothing interesting to say! jason is making me shallow! help! LOL!!! "today on TV i saw..." jk
so blonde redhead was reeeeeeeeally good ...i'm jealous, i want that band! lol ... but yeah, they were absolutely perfect...
after the show, J and i went to jivewire, and it was okay, except for the fact that they only played like 2 good songs...i don't really care where i dance, or what people are they or whatever, there just has to be good music...in the last few years i've gotten even *more* picky about what music i'll dance to...at first i would dance to anything in the world except for disco stuff and some 80's, then i finally decided i couldn't stand putting up with hip-hop/rap/whatever stuff anymore, and then i finally decided i couldn't stand rave music anymore.... so all that leaves me is electro-synth pop and the stuff they call "london pop" (AKA: "good" 80's music ...which includes the cure, the smiths, depeche mode, blur, duran duran, etc) ...it kinda sucks, but just nothing else makes me happy (oh but swing and salsa music is okay) ...i mean maybe i could still force myself to dance to rap stuff, and if i was dressed right, maybe some rave stuff... but i think i'm just too addicted to electro....but even if i hate other stuff, i can still dance to it, but it's about the same as having sex with someone you don't like....lol
yay! i'm FINALLY seeing blonde redhead tonight!! i've been waiting to see them for something like a YEAR now...i missed their first show trying to keep plans with a friend...
someone remind me that i can only drink decaf coffee... i don't know why, but for the past two years, every time i drink caffinated coffee...it does something really weird to me...it feels like i have the flu type thing...like i feel all hot and feverish and get chills ... and feel all shakey and just terrible ... today i forgot and got normal coffee and now i've felt terrible for like 4+ hours ... : ( but i don't care! i'm still going to go out all night and have fun!
oh yeah, and i talked to my brother "davey" online tonight... for the first time ever...i haven't seen him since i was 15, and haven't really "talked" to him since i was 7...tonight it still felt like we were strangers, like when i was 15...we used to be close when we were little....too much time apart changes (kills) relationships...it's funny how i'm closer to my step brothers than any of my real (half) brothers... how did that ever happen?!?!
chris is being so mean and cold...he made me cry...and i'm starting to get sick (no food + stress = weak immune system) THESE ARE HORRIBLE CONDITIONS TO STUDY UNDER! i'm going to fail! i hate living.
god, chris is being such a little bitch! he's being so hostile and violent and rude! i just want to rip out all of his hair! he deserves it! and he had a bass player over while i was trying to study for finals, and so i left, and then he made me bring back the car, but then he didn't even take home the bass player for another hour!! how lame!...and he kept totally yelling at me and snapping at me and cussing at me for no reason...what the hell is his problem?!! he's bitchier than a girl lately! and i went to the bank for him and deposited his check into his account (which fixed the way negative balance) instead of keeping the money for myself like he said i could (to pay me back for the money he stole) ...i don't know, he better stop acting like this or i'm gone...i'm sick of dealing with this BS ...and he STILL hasn't done the dishes for weeks and laundry for months... he's such a loser ...i feel sorry for any girl that gets stuck with him... he's such a terrible mean sloppy dumb irresponsible person ...
but yeah, so anyways, i went to a review session for philosophy today and saw my Sarah...she gave me a CD she made and a bracelet and a star tin...she's so sweet...she said i was so nice to her that she was trying to be nice back...it's a never ending war...we're always like 'you're nicer' 'no. you're nicer' and so on... lol ...anyway, then my Marcy took me out to eat at Casa Guadalajara in old town...if it wasn't for her and Jason feeding me, i probably would be dead by now! cuz of course chris gave the bank all our money so we haven't been able to buy food (it's something like $300+ in overdraft charges now) (and the food we did have went bad because he's too busy messing with that crystal girl to cook! and i can't cook meat!) ............how dumb of him... if i had been babysitting him like i usually do, this would never have happened...but i'm just sick of being the one to manage the money!! that's a boy job! i quit! i just wish he didn't owe so much money in my name!! he owes guitar center $400 and then that $510 phone bill...grrrr!!!! okay, now back to studying for finals...
oh and chris was even wearing one of my belts! GRRRR!!! he always ruins my belts! i hate him! he ruins everything .. he's so careless and thoughtless and dumb...i'm sick of replacing things that he ruins!
"Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke from The Smiths will be doing a DJ set at The Casbah Monday, March 22nd."!!!!!!! why must this be on the same day as modest mouse?!?! i want to go to BOTH! hmmm...what time do soma shows end...?
jason is wonderful at distracting me from absolutely everything that's bad in my life...tonight i was crying and upset over chris hitting me and the money stuff, etc, and so jason came to save me...there was no way i could think or focus on my books that i need to read for finals, so it was better that i was out with someone who loves me instead of at home crying (and staring at a book but not being able to read). anyways, first we went to flashbacks to find something green for jason to wear, so that i would stop pinching him! (no, just kidding, i was nice. lol) and he bought me a couple super cool green bracelets and a red belt!! weee! i'm so in love with my bracelets! i'll have to wear more green so that i can wear them a lot! anyways and then we went and had dinner and milkshakes at the corvette diner...which is the funnest place to eat ever (because they throw bubble gum at you!) oh and we also went and looked for shoes and we saw some people running out of the store with shoes!! and one guy lost his own shoe, but they ran to their car and left without that shoe.... anyways, so then we went to the ken club, which served me a really pretty drink, and we ran into jason's friend/ex Rosey and her friends/family, so that was cool...and we also saw Abe, jason's friend who i met 2 months ago at club 80's ...after that i took jason to the bar at the top of the hyatt and had another pretty drink, and we talked for awhile and stuff...then the bar was closing and stuff like that so we left...and now here i am to try to study for finals again...i am SO going to fail! stupid chris! don't ever live with irresponsible unreliable people!!!
why is it that the one person who can really make me happy has to also be the meanest person i've ever met? see why i want to die? there's no hope for happiness. i will go through life unhappy if i live... i mean some people make me happy, but it's not the same...i want it to be the same, but for some reason it's not...
what did i ever do to deserve this?!?!?!?!? so great, now i have a $510 cell phone bill in my name, thanks to chris!! he's such a fucking idiot that he goes over his 500 per month minutes! what the hell?!?! and now my bank account has dropped to $0 ...i'm still wondering if tomorrow it will be negitive...on top of that, chris is mad at the bank and yelling that he shouldn't be $400 negative, etc, because he's too much of an idiot to realize it's his own fault. then he was yelling how he's just going to let us get evicted and how i make his life miserable, etc... what did i do? i don't get it! i'm not the one who ran up the $500 phone bill, i'm not the one that got overdraft charges, i'm not the one that stole his ATM card and spent all the money...on top of all this, now i have a hand print on my leg from where he hit me...
how am i supposed to study for finals like this? i give up. jason said i shouldn't lose chris...but i'm not so sure if he's right anymore....
how weird and random! remember how i said i just saw the band scarlet symphony with Sarah on sunday? well the drummer (josh) just emailed me!! how strange! what a "small world"... i wonder how he found my website??! i wonder if it was even really him...
this band is so wonderful and random ....and the lead singer (who is a hot goth [gay?] guy) even wears angel wings in one of their videos!!!!! (i don't remember which video, i haven't seen it for a year) ...their music is best when you listen to lots of their songs in a row... it doesn't mix well with other music...and it might even be more of an aquired taste than something to instantly like...but yeah, i like! and they are playing at coachella! they are one band i wouldn't mind seeing live...i actually wish they were playing at a smaller place, but oh well...
teasing jason about his "new" old phone is fun! jason: "i'm on the phone!" shiloh or someone: "you are on the oldest phone in the world!!" later... jason: (something about greg being old and then something about being old) me: "hey, at least you aren't as old as your phone!"
Polar opposites don’t push away It’s the same on the weekends as the rest of the days And I know I should go but I’ll probably stay And that’s all you can do about some things I’m trying to drink away the part of the day That I cannot sleep away -Modest Mouse
oh yeah, and i just called the bank and chris's account is $300-$400 NEGATIVE! god, he is so fucking dumb!!! can't even fucking manage money. someone should kill him. people that dumb don't deserve to live!!!!
so HOW are we supposed to go to las vegas????? he needs that $400 check to put in his account to make it $0, and my account is at $0 because of him, so that leaves NO money. yay. not even any for bills. oh yeah and defintatley none for food!
chris is so fucking wonderful! crystal can have him! i'll just laugh at her!
yeah and did i mention i have FINALS this week?!?!!?! how the hell am i supposed to study/focus with all this crap that chris puts me through?!?!?
i swear to god, i am SO fucking stupid! i should have never given him any money EVER!! i should have NEVER bought him anything ever... and instead i should have saved all my money, like i used to, and then i would have something like $20,000 or so ...and then i would have a car, and then i could kick him out and get a roomate...
and it is SO sad, because this money thing is pretty much our only problem...but it makes me HATE him.
yep, i was right. he called me a bitch. he steals $400 for me, so i'm the bitch. right. yep, girls that yell are bitches! it doesn't matter if it's for a good reason!
looking at text messages: "awwwww" chris and crystal are so perfect for each other!! they are both IDIOTS! they both spell "sweetie" wrong ... they spell it "sweety" ...guess they've never heard of the word 'sweetie pie'! i hate people that can't spell! i used to spell perfectly until i hung out with chris for 5 1/2 years...
oh god, oh god, oh god!!!!! help!! i think my bank account is going to go negative!!!!!!!!!!! i just looked, online...i have $2.51 in my account!!!! (which means it could be less tomorrow..it takes 3 days for some things to show up) FUCK CHRIS!!! i hate him ... stupid fucking idiot!!! he just spent the last $140 that was in my account!! that makes for a total of $400 !!! money that i had held onto for months and months! and he just spent it all in a few weeks!! what the fuck kind of businesses are letting him use MY visa/debit card! i'm sorry, but he does NOT look like a "may"! don't they check ID anymore?!?!?!
GRRRRRRRRR!!!
if i was just a tiny bit madder, i would murder chris! i would! (i am NOT kidding) i want to go hit him!!!!!!! is it wrong to punch someone while they're sleeping??! i'm going to wake him up and yell at him, and then he's going to call me a bitch and tell his little crystal girlfriend.... i'm sorry, but i am NOT a bitch! he's a fucking bitch!! he's the one that STOLE my ATM card and spent every dime in the account!!!!!
i wonder if i should report my card as stolen ... i think chris deserves to go to jail! it might teach him a lesson! god, i am too fucking nice... i could put that boy in jail for so much more than that...grrrr....
oh and no wonder he never feeds me anymore! he eats without me! using MY money!!!!: 03/17/04 CITGO 7-ELEVEN STORE SAN DIEGO $7.00 03/17/04 LOS PANCHOS TACOS SH SAN DIEGO $7.70 03/16/04 CHECKCARD ACTIVITY $7.00 03/16/04 CARL'S JR #388 SAN DIEGO $6.30 03/16/04 CITGO 7-ELEVEN STORE SAN DIEGO $6.00 03/16/04 JACK IN THE BOX SAN DIEGO $5.02 03/15/04 CHECK CRD PURCHASE 03/12 LOS PANCHOS TACOS SHOP SAN DIEGO $11.39
chris is so nice ....to the BANK! looking through the mail, i see that chris has recently gotten $147 dollars in overdraft charges!! (they charge $21 per thing) ... 4 of the 7 charges were for purchases less than $10!! so he ended up paying $26 for something that was only $5 ... more than once! *sigh* will he ever learn? i've been yelling at him about this for about 4 years now!!!!!!...if it wasn't for dumb stuff like this, we would never fight and would be perfect together...i think i want to marry Mia instead! she even knows how to shop! she compares the price per ounce just like me! girls are so smart! (oh except for Marcy and Kate looked at me like i was insane for trying to buy the cheapest form of coke that way [cans vs. 2-liters]...i guess not ALL girls are smart...LOL...you dumb theatre majors! LOL jk, i love you guys...but you seriously make me wonder if i should have been an econ major...lol) yeah, but back to bitching about chris...so he just made $400 by working for paul for $23/hour (only a one time thing) for las vegas....but NOW he's going to have to just give that money to the bank to cover that $147 and all the other money that he doesn't have in his account! fun! oh and he still hasn't given me back my ATM card, so he now he probably owes me $400 instead of $300 ...god i hope i don't have any over-draft charges!! i'm too scared to look!!!! the sucky thing is that when chris owes me money, i NEVER get paid back ... grrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's so sad how a stupid thing like money (oh and lack of intelligence!) can ruin a near perfect relationship...
no more may*star pictures! EVER! after my friends and i were nice enough to spend $220+ on throwing a party for everyone to drink endless amounts of FREE alcohol at, dance at, eat at, hang out at, etc, somebody was kind enough to steal my camera!!! "happy birthday! now let me steal your cheap digital camera!" isn't that messed up! stealing from the birthday girl?!?! they don't even have the software to make it work! and it was only a 1 mega pixel cam! who in the world (other than me) would want a camera that sucky?! yeah, so if you want to ever see new pictures of me, you can find (and kill) the person who took my camera, or you can buy me a new one... hehe...
no time to blog went out to dinner with jason yesterday at the pizzeria part of Arrivederci, then later he came over and brought me flowers....
today i went to lunch with mia at influx, (influx sells the COOLEST bottled water!!!!! glass bottles in a cool shape!) and then to coldstone for ice cream, and then we got lost in the beauty supply store, sav-on and trader joes...oh and we also drove up in the hills of la jolla looking at all the pretty houses... we talked about how we are both going to marry rich husbands who have houses like that and then we will spend all the money...(so the husband better keep working! says mia. LOL) ...well she is, i'm going to have to marry someone poor because i just can't stand people who dress ("classy")! lol ...normal boring people make me want to die! ...i guess i'll just have to be in a band and make myself famous and start some companies, etc, and buy my own house... or maybe someone will die and leave me money... does anyone want to donate a house to me? LOL ... maybe i could marry a rockstar...but i don't really like any of those either... i really have a hard time liking boys for some reason...(or just people at all, i guess. people suck.)
these flyers will be handed out to 5,000 people in pacific beach (etc,?) soon: hollywoodray/safari maystar flyer ...thanks to hollywood ray for chosing me as his model ... he's pretty cool...in you are 18+ and live in SD, go check out his site....
you know that little voice in your head that tells you to do things? lol ... i mean, when you get a "feeling" to do something or to not? well, always listen to it! don't ignore it. do what it says! everytime i ignore what i feel i should do, even if it's just a little feeling, something bad happens...
you know, this really sucks... i have so many people that have offered me recording studios to use, yet i don't have time to finish writing any of my songs, and i don't have a band!!! i'm sure by the time i actually *do* get a band, all the recording studios will disappear.... i usually wait until the summer to start bands, but i'm thinking i'm sick of waiting for summer...i'm sick of putting my entire life on hold for school!! yeah so, who cares about homework! does anyone want to be in a band with me?! (don't say yes unless you are 100% serious and live around here! lol)
oh yeah, read my 30 minute play! i turned it in on thursday, but i'm still not happy with it...it needs a lot of editing...it needs to sound more horrible, because at the moment it sounds too "happy"/"superficial"....i really didn't put enough time or effort into it...
but yeah, this is based on a true story, EXCEPT that the interaction with the character of faith is fictional, (but still based on the other real people and their actions)
read it and tell me what your reaction is: There's No Place Like Home i plan on getting it produced at ucsd, or something like that, so i need to know exactly how people react to it....
i wonder if i'm getting stronger, or if it's just the fact that i have so many (read: more than one) good friends to talk to....lately some things have happened that totally crushed me, but i actually recovered from them, which isn't normal for me...so i'm wondering if i've gotten emotionally stronger or not.... i'm thinking that maybe the existence of people like marcy and chris in the background hold me together, even if i don't talk to them enough....i really wonder how "strong" i would be if they weren't there. would i be weaker? or would i be the same...
last night i went to see 3 or 4 bands with sarah ...scarlet symphony and the velveteen were pretty good, but i wasn't really in love with them...it's funny because i love music so much but for some reason i never seem to get that much out of shows...i guess i'm just bad at *watching* things....i like to DO things, not watch. i don't like to watch tv/movies/plays, but i like to act, i don't like to watch sports, and so on....*i* want to be in a band, not watch them...it's like i'd rather play sports than watch them...[but i still hate them..they're boring, so are games...the only fun way to play a game is to play it completely wrong...you should see me being forced to play ping pong! i tend to hit the ball off of houses and over fences...hehehe] but yeah, maybe i'd be happier at shows once i finally get time to have my own band...but yeah, so anyways, it wasn't that bad...it was an interesting experience, every show has a different feel to it, and me and sarah were dancing a bit towards the end (like 15 other people were too), but i still don't really feel comfortable dancing at *shows* ... i want to, but i just don't ...little by little i'm becoming less shy and less self consious, but i still don't feel confidant enough...which really sucks because self confidence is one of the most attractive qualities ever (at least with boys...) ...it always sucks when people are too scared/shy/self consious to do things, and i hate that i am one of those people... i'm trying to not be, but i need to be forced, otherwise it won't work...like i need to be forced to sing kareokee... hehehe...
oh, the other day i went out with my mia for the first time in forever and she helped me pick up the last few things i needed for my party. anyway, we were in flashbacks and i saw jill [working there] (she's lisa's friend from VV) and then all of a sudden jason appeared too, and it was just sooo weird...running in to too many people at once!
so i finally figured out *exactly* how chris wastes all our money without every buying anything for himself....he doesn't buy clothes, or CD's, ...and for a few years, i ever got him to stop wasting money on fast food! but still, his money disappears and there's never enough when there should be and i always end up having to pay for everything...anyways, so how it works is: he plans things poorly and then so when he pays his bills, he trys to pay too many at once and so he gets overdraft charges, so then the next check he gets is spent trying to replace the money from the overdraft charges and the cycle goes on forever... i'm starting to think that's what it is....
in school we once learned (i say "we" because "i" already knew this...) that if you are spending $1 every day to buy a soda, you could save $365 a year by stopping. and so if you are buying fast food everyday for lunch, you could save like $1,500 a year by not doing that anymore, and so on....
i remember back when i was 16 i only got like $5/week allowance and managed to always *save* it...(that seems amazing now) it was that money that paid for the $80+ school dances i took chris to...how messed up is that?!?! he was the boy with the job and yet he still didn't have enough money to pay for the dances like the other boys... instead i had to pay with my $5/week allowance!!! grrrr.... i'm so sick of paying for chris!! will it ever end?!
you know, now that i think about it, it's really AMAZING that there were so many people at my party, because SO MANY of my friends didn't show up!!
these are the people who should feel extremely bad for missing my 21st birthday party: tiffany * jessica * danielle * patrice * liz * stephanie * anna * vera * brian * dan * alexis * roland * ruby * jess * dylan * "t" * tj * heatherly * tess * hollywood ray * grace * carlton * bre * yoshi * michelle * matt * ashley * steve * etron * taylor * jason a. * brett * katrina * jerome * frank * matt e. * mo * jena * joann * lisa * tri * jessica c. * josh david * brian * barret * billy * jen * dani * joslyn * frankie * brittany * scott d. * eden
"wow!" "yay!" "weee!" 'thank you!" .... i just don't know what to say...! aside from ME not dancing enough, my birthday party was sooooo the best party i've ever had...or been to...! LOL ...and this is definitely by FAR the best birthday i've ever had!!!...the first one since 3rd grade that wasn't disappointing! everything was just soooo perfect and even the things that went wrong happened at the right times, so that nothing really felt wrong....
thank you SO SO SO SO SO SO much to everyone who came and everyone who helped and to the people that gave me presents!!! you guys rock! (but who is it that bought me the 'stereolab' and the 'frank black and the catholics' CDs????? does anyone know?!?! they were in frog/white wrapping paper...?? was that josh from lestat's???)
when i got to sarah's house, she had re-arranged the furniture sooo perfectly, that i didn't need to touch a thing (normally i'm really picky...but she did it even better than i would have...) then the wonderful amazing Mike set up the coolest party lights ever for me!!! we had colored lights and black lights and we had a disco ball that made the colored lights swirl across the room and this thing that projected moving colored bubble-like things onto the walls and material that was hung to catch them....we set up all the drinks and food and sarah cooked the bagel bites (pizza things), then jason came with his stereo and they set that up for a bit, my DJ lisa was having a hard/busy day and didn't show up until about 2 hours after my party was supposed to start, but it was okay because at first only close friends and people i didn't need to impress came...aside from taking a shot with Cicely, i only sipped on a bad version of a watermelon martini all night but got soooo drunk...more and more people came to my party and the place was filled with people...it was so exiting! people like my ex-boyfriend from when i was 14 came, and linda and rob and mateo(?) from vice versa came, and selena and bianca, shi, and greg came and tom and cicely and marcy, angela, teresa, sam, mia, zeniada, my old guitarist who did the music for the song "God", a boy i met at lestat's, some people i met at tainted love, a guy from my playwriting class, some boys from mexico, mari ("madi"), another jason from the internet, and just all sorts of different people....even some i didn't know! (which i wanted, to fill up the place and make the atmosphere better. AKA: i let people bring friends....) anways, after a bit, people actually danced!!! like lots of people, not just two! it was SO perfect!! except for i was so busy running around half the time trying to make sure everyone was having fun that i didn't get to dance enough, nor hold a decent conversation with anyone, although i did somehow end up making out with jamile (aka: "mila"), marcy, jason, and i think mateo for a minute and maybe someone else?? (i don't know!) LOL ...i wanted to kiss *everyone* so 4 or 5 is not so bad....LOL ...but yeah, hopefully i didn't end up looking to stupid...but people told me i was allowed to, because it was my 21st birthday...haha...oh the stupid cops (or one cop?) came and made us turn down the music at about (and so people stopped dancing) but yeah, the party didn't end until *about* the time the sun started to come up, and pretty much ALL the alcohol was gone...which is kinda amazing, because there was a lot of it! bad things that happened: the turntables weren't working/a cord was missing/i lost a record somewhere (hopefully lisa has it!) and my camera disappeared!!!!!!!!!! which REALLY sucks because for ONCE in my life i actually took pictures WITH all these people! *yeah, i had friends for once! LOL* but those pictures might be gone forever now...i don't even care too much about my camera being gone...i just want the pictures!! but other than that, my party was soooooooo cool!! people actually came! they showed up! lots of them...i really didn't expect that...!!! this is the first party that i've actually organized and had all by myself (of course i had tons of help, i just mean: no parent-like people involved)...it was sooo nice! almost all of the people i really wanted to come showed up! a few people who promised to come didn't come though....but pretty much all the important people were there, oh and best of all: there didn't seem to be much of an age difference between all the age 18-30 people....everything just went perfectly!!! except for there were a few people i didn't get to really talk to and i wish i would have danced more! i still can't believe so many people came...i had no idea my party was going to turn out that good! and i think it was the wonderful lighting and amount of people that caused people to dance...i think i even had more people at my party than some of the clubs i've been to....hehehe...if i was rich, i'd have parties all the time! hehehe... did i leave anything out Marcy or Jason (or anyone)???
so one more time: thank you to marcy, jason, lisa, sarah, mike, hollywood ray, chris, tom, and anyone else that helped me with my party (tom spun records while lisa took a break from the stress of the "broken" turntables...)
hey you guys, guess what!?! i'm a whore! or at least that's what this girl said. what a nice thing to say, huh!?! must have been her birthday present to me! why thank you darling!
someone PLEASE PLEASE remind me that i have an audition for a play at noon tomorrow! And if anyone wants to take me there, that'd be great too... hehehehe.... *hint hint* anyone? pretty pleeeeeeease?
Mia doll, for you: look what i found on my computer: listen LOL (weee!) where's our chipmunk picture?! i never ended up with a copy (thanks to my old computer dying...)
okay, so you wanted pictures from my birthday?well, this probably is not what you were asking for, but here: 21st b-day pictures. i was wearing a slightly "goth" outfit, but i didn't get a picture of the whole outfit, because i was crying...yeah, so if you ever wanted to see pitures of me crying, here they are! hahaha.... and on a happier note, here were the pictures i took for the club safari flyers...they are going to make the picture very small, so it doesn't really matter that the pictures suck...[i took them super fast and my hair wasn't even brushed!] club safari flyer model pictures isn't it cool that i get to be on the flyers for my old favorite club?!?!?! (it was my favorite club because of the atmosphere: EVERYONE dancing, drunk, happy....but they only ever played like 3 songs i liked...and maybe 7 i could tolerate...)
things i need to do before 6:30, for my party: get wine/limes from trader joes w/gift certificate ICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! find waterelon liqueur get dressed!!!!!!!! eat, IF i have time...(thank you marcy for reminding me to eat! LOL!!) find thank you presents for lisa and sarah. ballons? get more non-alcoholic things to serve at my party!!!! (mixers...) call josh and tamara and give them the address to my party
