wow, i got 9,319 hits this week. that's more than ever before. what's going on here? where is everyone coming from all of a sudden? tell me, tell me, why are so many people coming to my website recently? does this mean i need to start writing again???
also. saw the movie shopgirl (for free). i thought it was pretty interesting. way better than the dumb trailer at least. probably best for older people (22 + ?). i would say that if you liked closer and heights, you might like this movie as well. the writing is slightly similar. but only slightly.
i've talked about them before, but here i am talking about them again.
She Wants Revenge is the coolest new band ever. The lyrics, the sound, it's perfect. They just started playing them on certain radio stations, so if you like the band, call up all the radio stations you can and request them!!! It will help them get big......!! Do it! They'll love you if you do.
new band! so i'm starting yet another new band. what happened to the old bands? well, um, i have no idea. but yeah, THIS BAND is actually going to be real this time...i can tell. we'll actually get to the point where we play shows at some point! i'm so excited! today was our first real practice, and we work really well together. Abe is the coolest friend/band member ever! he is such a nice/good person. i'm so happy that he's my friend.... he even took me to church! how cool is that? it's so rare that anyone actually goes to church and even rarer when they take their friends..... oh yeah and he bought me cheetos!! ! !
chris lost his job, so neither of us have jobs. $950 rent is due in like a week or so. plus a cell phone bill $120+ plus $900 credit card bill. and this is the first time i don't have ANY MONEY. i might have a couple hundred in my pay pal account from web design along time ago, but that's about it.
i'm SO stressed out, yet so depressed that i can't even begin to look for a job. it took me three weeks to fill out just a job application.
i feel like i need someone to tell me exactly what to do. i don't know where i want to work. i'm too depressed to be productive. maybe it's also the fact that i only can use the internet on the fire escape. why don't i walk to a cafe? too depressed.
i stopped checking my email, except for once every two weeks. i never responded to anyone's letters, yet i carried them around with blank paper and a pen, for months. i've even started to stand people up. make plans and then just not even try to wake up for them. or just lie and say i can't go.
this is awful. i need to get a job. i seriously can't even bring myself to look on craig's list or anything. i feel so completely stuck.
the assets that i gained remain untouched, covered in dust i lay here confused i cry, in the absence of lust i reject his touch but only in my mind i kiss his lips, remembering your face my soul dies broken and bruised inside, i smile pretend it's all okay, wish it all away i close my eyes drained, i collapse and wait to die.
new york was a cool city. but very small. you can walk the entire thing. i could imagine getting bored living there after a week. the music at the indie/underground clubs was disappointing. i give up. times square was really cool looking though. much cooler than it looks on TV. but even that gets old after a couple days.
